经典科幻文学:《银河系漫游指南》第20章6

"No, wait ... I'll tell you something," said Zaphod. "I freewheel a lot. I get an idea to do something, and, hey, why not, I do it. I reckon I'll become President of the Galaxy, and it just happens, it's easy. I decide to steal this ship. I decide to look for Magrathea, and it all just happens. Yeah, I work out how it can best be done, right, but it always works out. It's like having a Galacticredit card which keeps on working though you never send off the cheques. And then whenever I stop and think — why did I want to do something? — how did I work out how to do it? — I get a very strong desire just to stop thinking about it. Like I have now. It's a big effort to talk about it."
Zaphod paused for a while. For a while there was silence. Then he frowned and said, "Last night I was worrying about this again. About the fact that part of my mind just didn't seem to work properly. Then it occurred to me that the way it seemed was that someone else was using my mind to have good ideas with, without telling me about it. I put the two ideas together and decided that maybe that somebody had locked off part of my mind for that purpose, which was why I couldn't use it. I wondered if there was a way I could check.
"I went to the ship's medical bay and plugged myself into the encephelographic screen. I went through every major screening test on both my heads — all the tests I had to go through under government medical officers before my nomination for Presidency could be properly ratified. They showed up nothing. Nothing unexpected at least. They showed that I was clever, imaginative, irresponsible, untrustworthy, extrovert, nothing you couldn't have guessed. And no other anomalies. So I started inventing further tests, completely at random. Nothing. Then I tried superimposing the results from one head on top of the results from the other head. Still nothing. Finally I got silly, because I'd given it all up as nothing more than an attack of paranoia. Last thing I did before I packed it in was take the superimposed picture and look at it through a green filter. You remember I was always superstitious about the color green when I was a kid? I always wanted to be a pilot on one of the trading scouts?"
Ford nodded.
"And there it was," said Zaphod, "clear as day. A whole section in the middle of both brains that related only to each other and not to anything else around them. Some bastard had cauterized all the synapses and electronically traumatised those two lumps of cerebellum."
Ford stared at him, aghast. Trillian had turned white.
"Somebody did that to you?" whispered Ford.
"Yeah."
"But have you any idea who? Or why?"
"Why? I can only guess. But I do know who the bastard was."
"You know? How do you know?"
"Because they left their initials burnt into the cauterized synapses. They left them there for me to see."
Ford stared at him in horror and felt his skin begin to crawl.
"Initials? Burnt into your brain?"
"Yeah."
"Well, what were they, for God's sake?"
Zaphod looked at him in silence again for a moment. Then he looked away.
"Z.B.," he said.
At that moment a steel shutter slammed down behind them and gas started to pour into the chamber.
"I'll tell you about it later," choked Zaphod as all three passed out.

“不，等一下……我得告诉你一个情况，”赞福德说，“我从来都是率性而为。我突然间想到了要干件什么事，然后，嘿，为什么不呢？我就去干了。我想自己将成为银河系的总统，然后这件事就发生了，这很简单。我决定要偷这艘飞船，我决定要去寻找曼格拉斯，然后这些事就发生了。是的，我策划好了怎样最好地完成这项工作，于是策划便取得了成功。这就像你有一张银河系信用卡，总能用出去。可是，每当我停下来，开始思考——为什么我想干这件事、我是如何想出办法去干这件事的——我就会产生一种强烈的愿望，要停止这种思考。就像现在。其实说出这个情况就费了很大的劲儿。”
赞福德停顿了一下，于是又出现了一阵沉默。然后他皱着眉头继续说道：“昨天晚上，我又在担心这件事，担心我脑子里的这部分似乎工作得不太正常。然后我突然意识到，之所以出现这样的情况，似乎是因为有别的什么人在使用我的脑子想一些好主意，却没有跟我打招呼。我把这两个念头放在一起，于是认定：极有可能是什么人为了这样的目的而锁闭了我脑子里的这个部分，所以我自己才不能使用这部分。我开始想，是否有什么办法可以检查一下。
“我来到飞船的医疗舱，给自己接上了脑部照影的屏幕。我在两个脑袋上接上了所有主要的检查项目——也就是我担任银河系总统的任命正式批准生效之前，政府医疗官员对我进行的所有检查项目。结果显示没有任何问题，至少没有发现任何意想不到的情形。照影显示我很聪明、富有想像力、没有责任心、不值得信任、性格外向，总之没有任何你预料不到的，也没有任何异常。于是我开始进一步检查，完全是随机的。没有任何问题。我又把一个脑袋的照影结果叠加在另一个脑袋的照影结果上面。还是没有任何问题。最后我完全绝望了，看来我最大的问题无非就是偏执狂。在把设备收拾起来之前，我做的最后一件事情是透过一个绿色的滤波器观察重叠在一起的照影图片。你还记得吧，我小时候总是迷信绿颜色？我一直想当一名贸易侦察机的驾驶员？”
福特点了点头。
“结果我终于找到了，”赞福德说，“就像光天化日之下一样清楚。两个大脑各自的中部，就是只与另一个脑发生联系、与别的东西无关的那个部位，有个狗娘养的灼烧掉了那儿所有的神经键，并且造成了那两块区域的电子损伤。”
福特盯着他，惊呆了。崔莉恩变得脸色苍白。
“有人对你干了这个？”福特喃喃地问。
“是的。”
“可你知道是谁吗？或者，为什么？”
“为什么？我只能猜测了。不过我倒是知道这个狗娘养的是谁。”
“你知道？你怎么知道的呢？”
“因为他把自己的姓名首字母烙在那些神经键上。他把首字母留在那儿，故意让我看见。”
福特惊恐地看着他，感觉自己的皮肤上似乎有什么东西在蠕动。
“首字母？烙在你的大脑里？”
“是的。”
“可是，他是谁呢，看在上帝的份上？”
赞福德沉默地看了他一会儿，然后把目光移开了。
“Z.B.（赞·毕）。”他平静地说。
就在这个时候，他们身后的一扇金属百叶窗突然砰的一声关上了，一阵烟雾开始在房间里弥漫起来。
“待会儿我再给你说这件事。”赞福德窒息着说，三人赶紧退出房间。