英语幽默笑话2篇

英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是本站小编整理的英语幽默笑话2篇，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语幽默笑话一：Three Turtles

三只乌龟

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my coffee."

"We won't," the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”

最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　英语幽默笑话二：

1、Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?

Tom: Every month.

爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢?

汤姆：每个月都有啊!

2、Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。

女孩：应该只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。

3、In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"

"To be deaf," replied the boy.

"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.

"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩："音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?"

"耳聋，"男孩答道。

"胡说!"老师气愤地说。

"怎么了，先生!难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗?"男孩轻蔑地反问道。

4、If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。

日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。

5、Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。

匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。

6、Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。

挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。

7、Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。

瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。

8、Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。

香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。

9、Drop your trousers here for best results。

泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。

10、Specialist in women and other diseases。

意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。

11、Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。

俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。

12、We take your bags and send them in all directions。

丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

13、The manager has personally passed all water served here。

墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。