经典科幻文学:《 再见 多谢你们的鱼》第20章6

Arthur, I mean this, this is very real to me, this is serious.
I was being perfectly serious, said Arthur. It’s just the Universe I’m never quite sure about.
What do you mean by that?
Tell me the rest of it, he said. Don’t worry if it sounds odd. Believe me, you are talking to someone who has seen a lot of stuff, he added, that is odd. And I don’t mean biscuits.
She nodded, and seemed to believe him. Suddenly, she gripped his arm. It was so simple, she said, so wonderfully and extraordinarily simple, when it came.
What was it? said Arthur quietly.
Arthur, you see, she said, that’s what I no longer know. And the loss is unbearable. If I try to think back to it, it all goes flickery and jumpy, and if I try too hard, I get as far as the teacup and I just black out.
What?
Well, like your story, she said, the best bit happened in a cafe. I was sitting there, having a cup of tea. This was after days of this build up, the feeling of becoming connected up. I think I was buzzing gently. And there was some work going on at a building site opposite the cafe, and I was watching it through the window, over the rim of my teacup, which I always find is the nicest way of watching other people working. And suddenly, there it was in my mind, this message from somewhere. And it was so simple. It made such sense of everything. I just sat up and thought, “Oh! Oh, well that’s all right then.” I was so startled I almost dropped my teacup, in fact I think I did drop it. Yes, she added thoughtfully, I’m sure I did. How much sense am I making?
It was fine up to the bit about the teacup.
She shook her head, and shook it again, as if trying to clear it, which is what she was trying to do.
Well that’s it, she said. Fine up to the bit about the teacup. That was the point at which it seemed to me quite literally as if the world exploded.
What?…
I know it sounds crazy, and everybody says it was hallucinations, but if that was hallucinations then I have hallucinations in big screen 3D with 16-track Dolby Stereo and should probably hire myself out to people who are bored with shark movies. It was as if the ground was literally ripped from under my feet, and… and…
She patted the grass lightly, as if for reassurance, and then seemed to change her mind about what she was going to say.
And I woke up in hospital. I suppose I’ve been in and out ever since. And that’s why I have an instinctive nervousness, she said, of sudden startling revelations that’s everything’s going to be all right. She looked up at him.
Arthur had simply ceased to worry himself about the strange anomalies surrounding his return to his home world, or rather had consigned them to that part of his mind marked “Things to think about Urgent.” Here is the world, he had told himself. Here, for whatever reason, is the world, and here it stays. With me on it. But now it seemed to go swimmy around him, as it had that night in the car when Fenchurch’s brother had told him the silly stories about the CIA agent in the reservoir. The trees went swimmy. The lake went swimmy, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be alarmed by because a grey goose had just landed on it. The geese were having a great relaxed time and had no major answers they wished to know the questions to.
Anyway, said Fenchurch, suddenly and brightly and with a wide-eyed smile, there is something wrong with part of me, and you’ve got to find out what it is. We’ll go home.
Arthur shook his head.
What’s the matter? she said.
Arthur had shaken his head, not to disagree with her suggestion which he thought was a truly excellent one, one of the world’s great suggestions, but because he was just for a moment trying to free himself of the recurring impression he had that just when he was least expecting it the Universe would suddenly leap out from behind a door and go boo at him.
I’m just trying to get this entirely clear in my mind, said Arthur, you say you felt as if the Earth actually… exploded…
Yes. More than felt.

“阿瑟，我是认真的，这对我很真实，这很严肃。”
“我正非常严肃呢，”阿瑟说。“我对宇宙都没这么肯定过。”
“你的意思是？”
“告诉我剩下的事情，”他说。“不要担心它听上去很诡异。相信我，正在跟你谈话的人已经见识过很多这样的，”他补充说，“这样诡异的东西了。而且我不是指饼干。”
她点点头，似乎要相信他。突然，她抓住了他的胳膊。“这是如此地简单，”她说，“当它到来时是如此奇妙超凡地简单。”
“它是什么？”阿瑟静静地问。
“阿瑟，你看，”她说，“这就是我不再知道的东西。我不能忍受这一缺失。如果我试图回想，这一切就变得闪烁跳跃，如果我太过用心，我就只能回忆到茶杯然后晕过去。”
“什么？”
“好吧，跟你的故事一样，”她说，“最精彩的部分发生在咖啡馆。我当时坐在那儿，喝一杯茶。这是在这种连结的感觉出现之后几天。我有些晕乎。咖啡馆对面的建筑工地正在施工，我正透过窗户看着工地，我从茶杯的轮廓上方望过去，我总是觉得这是最好的观察别人干活儿的方式。而突然间，我的脑海中出现了，来自某处的讯息。它是如此的简单。它让世间的一切都如此的合理。我就站起来然后想。‘哦！哦，好吧，这太好了。’我震惊的几乎要把茶杯掉了，事实上我想我确实把茶杯掉了。是的，”她意味深长地补充道，“我确信我把茶杯掉了。我现在说的有多少靠谱的吗？”
“到茶杯那段都挺好。”
她摇了摇头，又摇了摇头，好像在试图清理头脑，她正是要清理头脑。
“好吧，就是这样，”她说。“到茶杯那段都挺好。那似乎就是我的世界几乎爆炸的那一点。”
“什么……?”
“我知道这听上去很疯狂，而且所有人都说那是幻觉，但如果那是幻觉，那么我的幻觉就是在3D大银幕上搭配着16声道杜比立体声播放的，我可能应该把自己租给那些看腻了鲨鱼电影的人。那就好像大地真的在我脚下撕裂，然后……然后……”
她轻轻地拍着草地，好像是为了安下心，然后似乎改变了要说的话。
“然后我在医院醒来。我从此就不停地在那儿进进出出了。这就是为什么我有种本能的神经过敏，”她说，“对于突然间明白一切都会好的。”她仰着头看他。
阿瑟早就已经简单地停止了去为回到故乡世界之后自己周围奇怪诡异的环境而忧虑，或者换句话说，他是把那些东西交付给了头脑中标着“待想事项——紧急”的部分。“这里就是那个世界，”他曾告诉自己，“这里，不管是什么原因，就是那个世界，而且它还在这儿。我与它同在。”但如今他周围的一切似乎都模糊起来，就好像那天晚上在车里当芬琪诗的哥哥告诉他有关水库里的CIA探员的蠢故事一样。树模糊了。湖面模糊了，但这是极端自然而且毫无必要警惕的因为一只灰鹅刚落上去。那些鹅在享受着清闲的时光，对希望知道的问题没有明确答案。
“总之，”芬琪诗说，突然晴朗地一笑，睁大双眼，“我身上的某个部位不对头，而你要找出来那是什么。然后我们再回家。”
阿瑟摇着头。
“怎么了？”她说。
阿瑟摇头，不是要反对她的提议，他觉得这个提议真是相当妙，是世界上最好的提议之一，只是由于他正在试图让自己从那种感觉——在最不可预料的时候宇宙突然后跳出来吓你一跳的感觉中解脱出来一会。
“我只是想让脑子完全清醒一下。”阿瑟说，“你说你感到好像地球真的……爆炸了……”
“是的。不止是感到。”