分手请给个理由先 Dating nightmares

What is the biggest deal breaker for you in a romantic relationship? Below average looks? A weird accent? Or a lack of commitment? A new study reveals that the top deal breakers are “disheveled or unclean” looks, followed by personalities that are “lazy” and “too needy”, according to a Wall Street Journal column.

对你来说，结束一段亲密关系的最主要原因是什么？颜值太低，口音很怪，还是缺少承诺？据《华尔街日报》某专栏的最新调查显示，最常见的分手原因是外表“邋遢”，紧随其后的是“懒癌”和“粘人”。

It’s not bad news for those who want to maintain a long-term relationship.

对于想要维持长期关系的情侣来说，这并非坏消息。

Poor hygiene can be easily dealt with. Just pay a bit more attention to your personal grooming routines. To cure laziness and neediness, on the other hand, is more difficult. It might require a complete lifestyle overhaul or a change in personality.

不讲卫生是很容易解决的，只要在个人日常洗漱上稍加注意就行了。而治疗“懒癌”和“粘人”就难得多，因为这可能需要对生活习惯进行大刀阔斧的调整或个人性格的改变。

Unfortunately, as the saying goes, a leopard cannot change his spots. Many deal breakers listed by the study support this cliché –you cannot change them easily.

悲催的是，常言道：江山易改，本性难移。这项研究列出的许多分手原因都印证了这句话——人很难改变。

The study was published in October in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, under the title “Relationship deal breakers: Traits people avoid in potential mates”.

十月份出版的《人格与社会心理学学报》上刊登了这项研究，标题为《分手的原因：这些特征让人们对潜在伴侣避之不及》。

By collecting and analyzing survey results from more than 5,500 single people between the ages of 21 and 76, researchers identified what turns people off in a relationship, and how picky they are.

研究者们在收集并分析了5500多位年龄在21岁到76岁之间的单身人士之后，发现了导致人们分手的主要原因，并确认他们真的很吹毛求疵。

The study found that women are pickier than men. They listed more negative traits that would kill their interest in potential partners.

研究显示，女性比男性更挑剔。她们列出的潜在伴侣的负面特征更多，这些特征会导致她们不愿意和对方继续交往。

The study claims there’s a biological reason for women to be more selective. It’s women who get pregnant, so it’s important for them to be picky and choose a mate who is responsible and capable of helping them raise children.

研究称女性选择伴侣更挑剔是由生理原因造成的。女人要怀孕生子，因此她们要选择一位有责任心，并能帮忙抚养孩子的人，这时挑剔就显得尤为重要。

While men listed fewer deal breakers, theirs were just as distinctive. They are more likely to cite “having kids”, “living far away”, and “low sex drive” as deal breakers, thus showing a tendency toward a lack of commitment. According to the study, these characteristics “may reflect men’s greater concerns about resource investment in partners (and their families) and men’s somewhat higher interest in casual sex”.

虽然男性列出的分手原因很少，却很奇葩。男人们很可能会将 “有孩子”、“住得远”、“性冷淡”等列为分手原因。该研究还表明，这些特征反应了男人更关注对伴侣及其家庭的资源投入，某种程度上也说明男人可能对“一夜情”更感兴趣。

The study also found that people have different expectations for long-term and short-term relationships.

研究的另一项发现是，人们对长期和短期恋爱的期望值不同。

In long-term partners, the top deal breakers were “anger issues”, “is currently dating multiple partners” and “person is untrustworthy”. Among short-term partners, the deal breakers were “has health issues,” “smells bad” and “has poor hygiene”, according to results listed in The Wall Street Journal.

在长期恋爱中，最常见的分手原因是“争吵”、“脚踏几条船”和“丧失信任”。而《华尔街日报》列出的短期恋爱的分手原因则包括“健康问题”、“体臭”、以及“不讲卫生”等。

But just because certain deal breakers are common doesn’t mean they’re always justified. Sometimes deal breakers say more about your own prejudices than your partner’s flaws.

但就分手原因而言，常见并不代表它们就合理。有时，分手原因并非对方的缺点，而是自己的偏见问题。

For example, if you consider “sweaty hands” or “ugly toes” as deal breakers, then perhaps you are way too picky. The Wall Street Journal suggests asking your close friends if your deal breakers are ridiculous. Their advice will help you become more objective.

例如，如果你分手的原因是“汗手”或是“难看的脚趾”，那么，你可能太挑剔了。《华尔街日报》建议大家咨询一下自己的好友，看看他们是否认为你的分手的理由太荒谬。这些建议能帮助我们变得更加客观公正。